


Little Talks

by CorvidRoses



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/M, PTSD, Slowburn tm, im boo boo the fool, okay but this is self care, self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-07-31 20:17:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20121070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CorvidRoses/pseuds/CorvidRoses
Summary: You know when your WOL is actually not so stoic and an idiot? And they’re not perfect? Welcome to Azalea. She has trauma she hardly talks about it so it’s about time she finally did.Also hey I’m trash!





	Little Talks

“The covenant shall be honored…”

“I am the Cloud of Darkness. I shall devour your light, and return this world to the void.”

Cloud of darkness…

“Damn it! The rift is gone! What are we supposed to do now?!”

Azalea realized through the panic of the entire situation, that the rift causing her to falter in battle had closed, the emptied husks surrounding the remaining three dropping to the crystalized floor like flies. Though she could hear the other two conversing about their next move, she couldn’t help but fix her gaze to where the rift had been, her shaky hand trying to find it’s grip on the prosthetic parallel to it. The cloud of darkness meant...the world of darkness, and if that’s where their companions had been taken...then that meant that’s where they were going next. And...that’d mean she’d have to go.

As if seeing it once weren’t bad enough.

“Azalea, old friend...are you well?” The miqo’te’s ears twitched as the gruff voice of the hyur broke her terrified stance, inhaling sharply as she turned to meet his concerned gaze.  
“I know this was...a surprising turnout, to say the least, but we can’t do much about it now. Our best bet is to report back to Rammbroes and decide our next steps as a group.”

Azalea couldn’t do much except nod to the other’s proposal, still trying to compose herself so that the others wouldn’t worry. They already had enough on their plate as it was. They didn’t need the famed Warrior of Light cracking under the pressure of, what? The Voidsent’s ruler? That was child’s play compared to the things she’d faced in the past couple months. There was no faltering for her, not even with something like this.  
“Right...I’ll meet you back there, but I must make a call first.” She assured him now, the grip on her prosthetic lightening as she once more returned her gaze to where the void had been, and then ever so quickly turned away.

“Truly, are you well, Azalea?”

Of course, someone still remained. Though she figured as someone who didn’t know her enough, she wouldn’t be so transparent around the seeker. Was she ever more wrong…

Turning to the curious miqo’te, Azalea then nodded again, watching as his mismatched eyes searched hers for any kind of tick. He was observative, she’d give him that. If she wasn’t so used to his presence by now, she would’ve spoken out about it.  
“I will be once this is all over.” She affirmed, pausing a moment as she waited for him to leave as well, before sighing.  
“I’ll get them all back. I promise you, Raha.”

The seeker seemed to perk up at the assurance, always seeming to be an optimist in the most trying of times. He nodded in confidence, fixing her with a small, pursed smile. He was stressed, but the sunshine was breaking through.  
“No need for promises, I know we can bring them back.”

Azalea was quiet for a moment, her arms folded across her chest in contemplation. Her signature, silent nod followed, before she watched him turn to leave as well.   
—  
With all the fuss, Azalea hadn’t immediately returned to camp, somehow figuring they’d find their way back to the crystal gates anyways. Aside from all of that, she’d needed to contact someone urgently, and she needed to be alone. Pressing a finger to her linkpearl, she waited for the other to reach her, almost sighing in relief when he did.  
“Saffron?”

“Azalea! I’m so glad you contacted me! Alphinaud wanted to inform you that the trio of Braves you helped out near Coerthas came back safely! They even found those crystallized spriggan tails he talked about. Strange, isn’t it?” Azalea smiled as the excitement in her brother’s voice almost made her forget about why she’d contacted him, happy that at least things could go right on one side.  
“But I’m sure that’s not why you called. You’ve a great intuition, but you’re no psychic. So pray tell, what’s your reasoning? Is everything alright over at the camp?”

And there it was. Older sibling instinct.

Azalea was silent now, not knowing what to say. What could she say? That she needed him there? That would only put him at risk as well. She knew if she told him, he’d insist on being there. He’d never let her face that alone, and that’s what scared her, losing someone so close. She’d dealt with that one too many times, and it wouldn’t be the last time either. She couldn’t tell him.  
“Everything’s well, actually. I was just...needing to talk to you to pass the time is all. I grow worried about you as well, you know. So...that’s all, I suppose. I’m sorry.”

A small giggle emanated from the other end of the pearl, causing Azalea to hug herself.   
“You don’t need to apologize, Azzie~ you’ve been dealing with quite a lot these past few weeks. I could never be mad about you needing to talk, you know this. All I ask is that you don’t go getting yourself hurt when I can’t be there to help you. Because I’ll find out, and you better believe you’ll be in big trouble~” 

A laugh, now from Azalea as the other playfully threatened her. Somehow, he was always able to make her smile. How he did it, she’d never understand, but he always did so much so that she could get by. Maybe that’s why she needed to hear him now. Still, that lingering doubt swirled inside her, and she was only delaying the inevitable standing around like this.  
“I’ll do my best. Expect me back soon, alright? You can tell Minfilia and the others not to worry about me.”

“Of course, and Azalea?”

“Yes?”

There was a slight pause, almost as if the elder was contemplating his next words.  
“Take care of your arm, please?”

Azalea looked to her prosthetic at the mention, rotating it slowly so that she could get a good look at it. How long had she had it now? She wondered, her thumb gently tracing the metallic palm. Far too long. Enough for it to no longer phase her. If she’d gotten used to it, why not everything else?  
“Of course, I’ll reach you later, Saf.”

With that, her pearl clicked off, and her gaze drew upward to the tower gleaming before her. How beautiful it looked reflecting off of the sunset. She took this small moment to sit herself on the edge of the overlook, her legs dangling freely over the edge. She had to go back there. She had to save the Allagans. It was the only way they could finish their mission. Just...get over it already…

“Checking In with the Scions? I pray they’re doing better than we are.” 

And somehow, she was snuck up on again by the other miqo’te, her tail flickering in alarm, but not showing much else as a sign of surprise. She was used to it by now. She didn’t mind his presence, even if it did happen to be a bit of a curious presence. But this was different, she could tell he was trying to talk to her. Not in an overbearing way but...he seemed...concerned. Genuinely.

“Things are going better there than they have the past few weeks. So...it’s one less thing to worry about. Still I...I tried to call for backup...I never got to asking. I can’t put anyone else in harm’s way. Not with something like this.” Azalea explained, her claws cutting lines in the marble below her as he hands balled into fists. She heard footsteps approach her, before watching him sit next to her out of the corner of her eye.

“This isn’t an easy task for you, is it?” The question was spoken softly, the mismatched eyes of the seeker watching Azalea’s flicker down to the balled fists resting in her lap, her hand holding her prosthetic.   
“...what happened to your arm? If you don’t mind me asking.”

She was quiet again, her voice catching in her throat at the question. She’d figured someone had to ask at some point, everyone always seemed afraid to though. No one really wanted to question the Warrior of Light’s past. They always assumed that she’d probably gotten it heroically. She only wished that were true.

“Would that be too personal? Forgive me then, for bothering you with such a topic-“

“It was before I joined the Scions.”

The seeker quieted now, surprised honestly that she’d actually spoken up. He figured it was probably risky to ask, seeing how affected she was by this all but...she seemed like she needed to talk to someone about it…

“I think I was about nineteen at the time. My brother and I were residing in Ul’dah. I’d taken up thaumaturgy, and I was so eager to learn. All my life, I’d been told that my aether was so strong and great, and I thought...why waste that? It was hard though, studying such magic. Not many people took it on, but that’s why it interested me so much.” Azalea explained, pulling her knees to her chest now as her gaze turned back up to the tower looming in front of them.  
“Eventually, I took to the field, and...I felt powerful. It was the first time in a long time that I’d been truly happy...though it didn’t last long.” 

Another pause, and her prosthetic gripped itself in the fabric of her pants.  
“I acted carelessly during a fight, my spell rebounded off of my target and right onto me. Black magic isn’t something to be messed with for reasons. When I was a child, I was injured by a morbol, leaving a scar on my arm and ultimately making it grow lame. When I was hit by that spell, that aether collected around that wound, sensing a weak point. My old arm became possessed, as did the rest of me…” her voice broke slightly on her last sentence, her gaze flickering to her arm for a moment, before moving forward again.  
“My brother did everything he could to reverse the effect without bringing harm to me but...nothing worked. So he had to make the difficult decision to remove the source. It was...painful, but I was more than happy to be back. I’d seen so much while I was under…” 

She paused a moment, realizing her remaining hand was shaking. She balled it into a fist, before moving it over to place over the opposing shoulder. Taking the fabric of her shirt, she slowly exposed her shoulder, showing off where the flesh met metal. Though right where they joined, there was a whole ring of what looked like terrible bruising, crystalized over by whatever the dark magic had done to it.  
“It looks worse than it feels. When my brother brought me back, the infection stopped spreading. Nothing remains, it’s just a mark to remind me.” 

G’raha observed quietly as her fingers gently traced the hardened lining against the prosthetic, her expression melancholic as she seemed to be recalling her first few moments ever having such a reminder.  
“When I first joined with the Scions, I still couldn’t really believe I was the one given the calling of the Light. I mean, up until then I was just this idiotic miqo’te who’d gotten herself possessed and couldn’t make companions to save her life. I still can’t believe I’ve done so much. I’m to put on a brave face for everyone else, so they believe in me...but truthfully? It’s difficult, more often than not. This is difficult…but I have to face my fears if I’m to save our friends.” Azalea pulled her sleeve back onto her shoulder, exhaling softly as her hand ran itself through her messy bundle of hair.  
“I just...for the first time in a long time...I’m scared. I’m scared to face this alone, because I don’t know if I can withstand my quite literal past demons...but I do know that if I were to have anyone with me, I’d feel just as guilty...because I’d be placing the same fate onto them. That’s why I could never tell my brother about what happened. I care about him too much to see him hurt..”

There was silence between the two of them for a moment, and Azalea realized her eyes were stinging slightly with tears. Had she really let herself get this emotional?? Around someone other than Saffron? 

And then a hand was placed against her good shoulder, and she met the other with watery eyes.  
“Well let’s not allow him to worry then, shall we? I’ll simply go in his place. After all, I believe it should also be my duty to retrieve the Allagans, and I know Rammbroes and the old man won’t agree with my actions in the slightest...but if it means you won’t be alone, and that we all have a better chance at coming back safely..well, I’m more than happy to follow you on your adventures, Azalea.”

Azalea looked to his hand now, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips as her prosthetic placed itself over it.   
“I feel as if I don’t have much of a choice. You and I are very well the same in that we don’t like being told no.” A sharp exhale, almost like a laugh escaped her, but there was still sadness in her eyes.  
“You’re very kind to me, Raha...even after I explained to you my biggest mistake..I haven’t told anyone else about it..” 

G’raha’s ears twitched curiously at her last sentence, head tilting in question as his gaze shifted briefly from her eyes, to their hands, and back again. He mimicked her smile, gently moving his hand to take hers in support, feeling the cold metal hesitantly clasp around it.  
“Did I ever tell you the story about when I misfired trying to down a wandering cactuar? I nearly knocked down an entire search tower in my mishap! The guards manning it weren’t the happiest with me~” he laughed, gently rubbing his neck with his free hand and watching as Azalea managed a small giggle herself, smiling a bit more genuinely now.  
“That was two days prior, I’m sure they’re still well upset with me~ but you know? Even if people like you and I who are so highly regarded make mistakes, it truly doesn’t matter in the long run. Making mistakes makes us normal, and if you can get through it at the end of the day with confidence, well...it truly shows how strong we really are.”

He paused, his free hand brought to his chin in thought, his smile ever remaining.  
“I’m glad you told me about your past. I mean I always figured you were an amazing person, not just anyone spreads those stories realm-wide. But...hearing what you told me just now...knowing that someone so heroic isn’t perfect, and that you have flaws...it inspires me. You are my inspiration, the reason I choose now to follow the Allagans into the void. So never feel bad about your past mistakes. You’ve gotten past them, and you’re here now, and I’m glad you are. I feel so honored to have met you and worked beside you.”

The metallic hand gently squeezed his, and he watched as droplets fell atop it, realizing the other had welled over from his small speech. He was about to apologize, but realized right then that she was...smiling. She was happy, more or less.  
“You’re a gem, Raha. Truly. I don’t think I’ve met anyone that compares more to the shining sun than you do.” A real bout of laughter left her now, and she tried to stifle it behind her free hand.   
“Thank you for having this talk with me. I don’t think I could’ve convinced myself to do this without you.”

“Oh I’m certain you still would’ve. I believe you just needed to talk about it beforehand.” G’raha corrected, squeezing her hand back before moving to stand, helping her up as he did.  
“Now, I’m sure the old man wants us back at the camp. Care to accompany me? Walking between here and there as many times as we have grows rather same-old when you’re doing it alone~”

Azalea smiled at the offer, before looking down to their hands, both so casually intertwined. She’d never let herself get so comfortable with someone quite so quickly. Why she had now, she couldn’t understand, and she wouldn’t for a very long time. She simply nodded, letting their hands part, and taking the lead on their stroll.  
“You know, I might definitely need a drink after this. If you don’t throw yourself immediately back into your studies, what say you to joining me? The rest of NOAH can come too~”

And it was as if a flame suddenly flickered to life in the seeker, his tail swishing happily at the invitation. She didn’t think such a small thing would incite so much emotion.  
“I would be more than happy to! I think we all deserve a break after this~”

Azalea’s tail flickered happily in return, and it seemed for just that moment, the two of them no longer feared treading into the unknown to save the lives of their allies. If they had a future to look forward to. There was no longer any doubt.  
“Good then. Let’s bring this adventure to an end, shall we?”

“We shall, and then let us look forward to the next one.”


End file.
